AN OPEN LETTER TO MY HEART

Dear Heart, I know. I understand. I realize the phase you are in now.
Dear friends,
 
I have been wanting to have this conversation with with my heart for some days now, but i just couldn’t find the words. Today in the quietness of the day, I took a break from the ultrasound room, went to a quiet place and with a stethoscope, I sat there for minutes just listening to the sound of my heart.
i smiled just knowing how lucky it meant to be alive, to be present and to feel everything that is worth feeling…
 
I found right there the inspiration I needed and so I wrote this letter to my heart.
 
Dear Heart,
 
I know. I understand. I realize the phase you are in now.
I understand the confusion that is going on. I get why you are making certain choices. I can sympathize with every decision and call for adventure.
 
I know how you’ve tried all these years you’ve tried to save yourself for one person, how you’ve run away from many forms of affection, how you’ve closed and lock up some emotions because you are just too afraid and i understand why do that. You love hard. And when you do, you go all out.
 
I am sorry for what I have been putting you through. I know you met this guy, you get it… it isn’t really love you know it, but the idea of you loving him makes you feel good, you don’t want to even consider from his end if he probably might feel same too.
 
Dear heart, I understand all suddenly you are beginning to feel like a woman, yearn for the love and affection and tenderness. I know you dream of being held, secured and wrapped in the arms of the man you have affections for, I know this is happening, and you can’t stop to think for a while. And you wouldn’t get anyone to tell you that stuff happens, and we do not have control, and it is okay to be human and feel things human feel, it’s okay. Perfectly okay to admit that this things you are feeling are active, and your senses testify to it.
 
I know your mind is made up, ready to walk boldly into
this and you know your heart might be left wounded by your own unmet expectations or you will wake up one day to find out that all the spark you thought you were yielding just went away. Which often does.
I know you have doubts, you don’t even know yourself yet. You don’t know everything about you and that’s why you don’t know what to look for sometimes and it doesn’t mean you lack purpose in life as some people will make you believe, because purpose isn’t a constant discovery, but it is a journey. So it’s okay if this footstep isn’t clear.
 
Dear heart,
Sometimes when I look at you, my prayer is a whisper that ask that you are given good things. That life be kind to you everywhere you go. That you never lose your sense of wonder. That i could feel the right things at the right time always.
That I could understand each change in rhythm and hear clearly the subtle sounds you make. That I could wait to be told to fly. I could be patient enough to stand beside the ocean without feeling small and wait for the sun to set into a peaceful horizon. That I could guard and guide you.
 
Sometimes, I wish I knew how to tame you when you needed to be tamed and set you flying when you needed to fly to the ends of the earth.
But honestly, I do not know how.
 
Other times, I feel that there is something crazy about every season of a woman’s life. I didn’t grow up knowing a lot about that, I didn’t know that it was possible to fall into the trap of you leading, but everywhere you have led, I have walked a path that never left me the same person I use to be.
 
I can’t really seem to know which phase we are in right now. I wish I could guard you safe like I use to when I was a little girl. But I can’t promise you that I have figured many ways to protect you.
I have known you were meant to fly from the first day you and I got acquainted when I was only a fetus. I knew you were made to be carried by a girl like me, hopeful, full of dreams and wishes, daring with a constant and deep quest to understand every aspect of what life is about and a girl like me is happy to have had a heart like you.
 
I have known from the first beat that we were synced to dance together and forever in the circle of life, no matter the years we have left on earth to live together.
Be strong, unashamed, and willing. That’s how you will learn. And I promise to walk through all the stages with you.
 
I love you even in your deep fears and uncertainty
I love you in your openness and closeness
I love you because you are my heart
 
I can’t protect you always. Some things are inevitable
But I will always give you a home to belong
Without shame, with no apology, to be found as you are
As you find yourself
Be kind
Be patient
No doubt the universe will unfold as it is meant to be
 
Yours,
The girl who keeps you
Jo.
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8 Comments

  1. Wow, this is mind blowing. For the first time, I’ve read till the very last word. Go girl✌️✌️✌️

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